It's gonna be over .

^^

2012-01-29T06:09:00.001-08:00

I know you are reading my blog ! ^^ duhh , if not you can't see that line alr right ? <: anyway I'm blogging from my phone , in which I hadn't did so in gazillion years . Actually , not that long luhh .

Life ; they always give you surprises . No matter how you plan your schedule or your path , somewhere somehow , someone somewhat would get into your way , and disrupts your whole life . Yes , I know what you are thinking . Is it a good thing or a bad thing ? Answer , it all depends on your perspective towards things . It maybe some obstacle to strengthen you up to face the future ? But humans , imperfect as we are , usually jump into the conclusion that it is a bad thing . There are instances of like a bad relationship and others . but think through , if it werent for all this , would your character be like that ? Every story has a moral to tell , it depends how you see it . Life ; is interesting . You have to trial and error to find your rightful path , your rightful partner . And in your lifespan , have you looked back and think , ponder , whether is it worthwhile ? I don't think mine is YET , cause I really want to help those in need but have yet to have a chance to . I want to experience the different cultures and understand .

2012-01-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

Time is passing oh so slowly everyday . maybe it's because I'm not working now . Oh well , now that I can't even use my phone , I can't even meet people often . And I have to be on time every single time I said a time to meet . Damn . I think I'm going bonkers if I continue to stay at home like that every single day . I seriously don't get it how my sister can get through each day like that , and totally don't have the urge to go out and breathe in fresh air . Like , other than your computer , what else is there in this house that you can do ? o.o

2012-01-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

Olevel results released . Proud to say that I'm not pleased with my results . I felt so injustice , what for studying so hard , when it doesn't pay off at all ? But I understand that life is unjust , there's no perfect reasoning for everything that happened . Not everything can be explained using scientific terms . Mere mortals like us , just have to take it as it comes . Whether or not we do well , doesn't make a difference in the heavenly realms .

Confused with my decisions . Poly or JC ? I feel happy for people who actually know what they want to do in life , and exactly where they wanna head to . People like me ? I don't know , I don't know what is the path that I should choose . Decisions are things that I hate doing . But I need to learn to be in charge of my life , I need to know what should I do and what I shouldn't be doing . Adult's life , isn't as simple as I thought it would be when I was younger . I used to dream to faster grow up , to earn my own money , buy my own house . But now as I'm growing up , I realized that it isn't as simple as I thought it would be . With so many laws and everything to handle , not everything comes as you want it to be .

I've thought of moving over to other countries , to experience what they are like . But fear is a factor preventing me . I admire those people who can just go overseas to study like it's no big deal . Even given the chance , I may not want to do that . It just scares me . I don't like being unfamiliar with places , the night would seem even more darker and eerier than it usually is . I wonder when would I learn the beauty of courage . I don't have it now , and I doubt that I will have it in the near future either .

Follow your heart and make the decision . But fear is always the obstacle that is stopping me .

2012-01-02T08:31:00.000-08:00

NewYear , New post ? HAHAH . Bullshyt man . Decided to blog cause there is nothing else to do besides blogging . I feel satisfied with my life now . Even though the release of Olevels is just a fewdays later . I know that there will be someone that will hold me even if I shatter after taking my results .

I don't think I have mentioned , but I was working at Raffles'City Timberland . That place , taught me a lot . A lot of things that got to do with Retail , even though I don't want to work retail next time , but they taught me how to deal with customers and they are really a bunch of friendly people ! Most of them actually . The full-timers are those that I can get along better as compared to the part-timers . ^^ Don't , don't take anyone for granted . I used to get irritated with retail staffs for giving me wrong item , but now I understand that each job has their difficulties and all . Especially the servicing line . They have to work and serve you guys , when you are all free and all . What's wrong with waiting for that few mins or so ? We don't do magic , can't expect us to be there like straight away after you tell us that the size isn't right .

My Christmas count-down was spent eating steamboat ! Christmas was spent working and family gathering at my cousin's house . Didn't want to go at first , but my brother bringing his girlf , so have to give face to my brother and go . New Year's eve was spent at Kbox .

These days working , made me think a lot . I realized that somethings , don't bottle it up to yourself . I'm not going to continue writing this anymore , because I'm tired and I need to sleep !

2011-10-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

I've finally understand what is it like to be stressed up . This week would be the worst week of the olevels with all my core subjects taking place . The kind of tension and stress level that I'm experiencing is so great that I can't sleep . Even at this hour , 2.19AM , I still cannot get myself to fall asleep . No matter how much I toss and turn , I just can't seem to fall asleep . 难以入眠，满脑都是在想着数学，化学，物理，地理的问题。我是多么怕没把要点记清楚，反而背那些有的没的。这种感觉很痛苦，明明知道自己得早睡才会有精神，可是却逼不了自己入梦。感觉好象在消耗宝贵的时光。我用睡觉的时间，能学习更多的资料。

I always think to myself that I could use the time to memorize more of the coastal protections , the hard engineering methods and the soft engineering methods . The river protection , river re-alignment , re-sectioning . Floods causes lost of lives , lost of property , contaminate the water causing water-borne diseases . The severity of an earthquake is due to the magnitude of the earthquake , the distance from the epi-center , infrastructure , population density . The ways to lessen the severity is to improve the infrastructure ( building quake-resistant buildings or adding steel pipe into existing buildings ) , using sensitive technology like the seismometer , precaution drills ( education ) . Volcano have the composite volcano with acid lava , steep top and gentle bottom , ash and cinder , shield volcano . UGH . I can't remember . There's still natural vegetation . Case Study on Kalimantan deforestation . It is due to the excess logging , mining , increase in agriculture landuse , increase the population density . The measures taken are afforestation and deforestation , and so on so forth . Need to read up already . Then there is still the meanders and the formation of a water fall with the plunge pool and everything . Then there is still the oceanic-oceanic divergent plate movement , covergent plate movement . Mid-alantic ridge and everything . Gosh , all this information are really killing me . And I haven't touch on human geography yet .

F=ma ( Newton's second law of motion ) , W=mg , KE = 0.5mv(square) , GPE = mgh , pressure = (roe)gh = force/area . For left hand rule , it measures the induced force . For right hand rule , it measures the induced current ( in which need to fulfill the requirement of having a change in magnetic field and magnetic flux linkage ) . Higher heat capacity requires more energy in order to raise the substance by 1degree . Higher latent heat requires longer time in order to change state ( graph ) . When acceleration = 0 , it may not mean that the person is stationary . As acceleration is the rate of change of velocity , the person may be moving at a constant speed in circles and thus acceleration = 0 . P = IV , Q = IVt , V = IR . In parallel , voltage remains the same , current splits . In series , current remains the same , voltage splits . The Earth wire is connected to the metal wire to prevent the user from getting electric shock from the appliance , whereas the fuse is to protect the appliance from receiving excess current that would cause it to explode . Brownian motion is about the constant bombardment of the air molecules with the smoke particles . Temperature refers to the hotness/coldness of an object . Lost in GPE = gain in KE + gain in sound energy + gain in heat energy . The higher the region is above the sea level , the lower the pressure , the lower the region below the sea level , the higher the pressure . When calculating the water pressure , no need to add the atmospheric pressure . P1V1 = P2V2 . Density of mercury = 13600kg/m(cube) . Audible frequency = 20Hz - 20 000Hz . Speed of sound is 330m/s . speed of light is 1x10^8 ? AIYAH . GIVE UP LAH .

Then there's still chemistry . Gosh . I can't bring myself to go further and further already .

2011-10-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

I pity my blog , for it has always been abandoned by me until I feel like blogging . Which is once in a blue moon . >.<' It was graduation day today . Finally graduated out from Beatty . Feel kinda out of place there . To me , everyone there is just an acquaintance . We can talk , laugh , but we will never get deep into our inner thoughts . In that instance , I realized that time flies so fast . People that were once important in my life is not important anymore . I used to think that friends were everything that I had , but I realized I was wrong . There is nothing more important than your family members . Even those people that I meet in Secondary School , after today , some of them will jolly well disappear from my life and I wouldn't see them even till death .

I think I've became much more matured after staying at home these few days , spending time with my family members . But there's just something missing in my heart . That empty space , that space that I've neglected for so long . Oh well , shall not dwell on that shall we ? (: Beatty is not my home . It was once , but it wouldn't be anymore . It's not a shelter that I can cover from the strong winds , neither is it one that will pull me up when I fall . People in Beatty , shows me another side of people . I guess they are unique bunch of people in that sense . I see how people matured through the 4years in school .

If I want to think back on how I was behaving when I first came in . I will feel that I was actually a better person when I came in as compared than when I go out . Yes , I can't deny that I learnt a lot in Beatty . Leadership skills for example . And how to communicate with people ? I wasn't one that could express my feelings well , neither was I one that could talk to people easily . But through the 4years in Beatty , I talk to strangers at ease . (: But I can't contribute that to solely Beatty only . There are other factors as well .

I'm satisfied . I guess ?

2011-10-06T06:28:00.001-07:00

You didn't stood up for me . So now what , I'm some unbearing bitch that no guy would want to have me as his girlf ? You know perfectly well how I treated you when we were together . You allowed people to judge me by my behavior to you now . What they don't know is how much I cried because of you ? You think I've forgotten all about us ? Think again . You can jolly well put this relationship down for all you want , but I cant . You said that after olevels we'll get back together . I'm waiting . But apparently you have conveniently forgot about this fact .
If I wasn't bothered by this relationship in the beginning . I've wouldn't have cried all night because of your Facebook wall post in Korea . If I wasn't bothered , I wouldn't feel the hurt that I'm experiencing right now . You don't give a darn about me . But I dont . I held firm to the way I felt about you but I guess it was just my foolishness . When you told me you still loved Emily . I let you go . I wanted you to be happy with your choice . But your actions clearly has proven otherwise . She's the only girl that you really loved . I'm just a playtoy that came along . Even though how much I know that I'm just a substitute for Emily . Hadn't I tried my best to a good girlf ?
Do you know what I've went through ? You broke up with my through MSN , what a cowardly act . But I accepted the fact . What's the point of holding onto a relationship that wasnt meant to be . But you gave a hint of hope . That maybe olevels was just an obstacle that we had to cross . I held onto that hope . I diminished any sign of guys that wanted to get together with me . But you didn't . That was just a cliche phrase that all guys would say in their breakup .
Clearly I have to thank you . Thank you for waking me up to this inhumanity of human beings . Thank you for teaching me how to build up a wall against people . Thank you for teaching me how to not be so trusting .
Guys ; are so childish . Maybe it's the guys in my school . We girls , need not scoop so low , just to make you guys happy . Hello , your self esteem got broken , you got yourself to blame . Blaming on us has no use . I believe in standing up for my own rights , ridiculous jokes that make fun of me ? No I don't buy that , you just degraded yourself further . Guys judge . On how a girl reacts . Hey come on man , doesn't mean that I don't laugh at your jokes and often put you down means I do not have personality . How 'bout you knowing someone before you judge ? I don't even know you .
In secondary school life , I've really learnt a lot . Especially on life . The cruelty of life .

2011-08-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

So it has been long since I've last posted on this blog . Pathetic space on the internet now eh ? Anyway , since the guys are off to play DoTA ( I wonder why this game is even created ) , so I'm left with the internet . So blogging is the easiest way to spend time away . (:

These few days past so quickly , that sometimes you don't even know that the time had past , days in the weeks now mean nothing already , everyday live life and be safe . that's all . There had been people smearing your name , and I actually believe them . I don't believe that they will lie to me , and you have proven me wrong to trust you again . How many times has this been since you lied to you . I can't believe how pathetic you are to not even reply because you don't have your friends to rely on anymore when they left you in school . How coward can you get ? It has been four years ago since I knew you . That girl who was so innocent , where had she gone ? Or has it been a lie since the beginning ?

Going through my contact list , I realized that there are only a pittance amount of people that I can count on of going out when I'm bored or have nothing to do . And you were no longer there . I vaguely remeber the first time that we went out , it was just because of that sentence , and apparently , that sentence has expired . It's no longer there , neither is our friendship . Does our friendship only exist in the hardships ? And when you find someone new , you just desert me , like I'm just a piece or garment . I don't know anymore .

No one left to trust . why ?

OH WELL , at least I've enjoyed myself thoroughly today . ^^ laughed at daddychew when he fell off the rollerblades . It has been long , but at least I'm happy then . now ? HAHA . And that idiot was late . like a super late . ._. 10.30 , HOMEHOMEHOME . they haven't finished their game yet . irritating bunch of people ! D<

2011-07-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

It has been long since I've last posted , so here I am now . Posting ! :D

I think my holidays are rather well spent , meeting people and having fun . The only thing that I lacked was studying ! D; Anyway . Had a fruitful studying with liangseng on 29/6 which is two days ago . (: I've studied for close to 5hours straight ! :D I did my English comprehension and for once I handed in one time ! Seeing my homework piling like a mountain , I realized that I really have to go studying ( doing homework ) soon soon ! People ! ask me out to study ! LOL . I doubt any one reads this space of mine . HAHA .

I've gain fats ! D; Dawn , Jieyun ( dawn's friend ) , and I were looking through the old photos that were found in Dawn's wallet . I realized in like a year , my face has became rounder and Dawn's has become smaller ! LOL . I keep saying that her fats transfer over to my face ! D: I'm going on a diet ! Fruits it shall be ! (: teehee . Hopefully I can find someone to study with me tomorrow although I doubt anyone would do it cause it is the WEEKENDS , which means PLAYING for most of them . oh well , olevels student must more hardworking uh .. LOLOLOL . Study study study .

If my Olevels still don't score well even though I studied so hard , I can go bang wall already lah . -.- HAHA .

2011-06-07T01:31:00.000-07:00

Amazingly , I studying at home . studying at home actually wasn't that bad then I thought it would be , I can relax as and when I like . (: Although the process would be slower , but at least better than spending travelling time to a certain place to study with friend and end up chitchating right . (: Okay , I'm just trying to comfort myself . :D

2011-06-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Everyone's putting on a mask towards others . Who's able to stand strong and firm saying that he/she has never put on a mask before . Putting on a mask , to show that you are still strong even though you are dying inside ; to not upset those that care for you .

Everybody claims that they are sick and tired of putting on a mask , who isn't ? But putting on a mask can be deem as beauty . As the saying goes , beauty is in the eyes of the beholder . If you put on a mask not to harm but to love , why not ? I'm not saying putting on a mask and act like you are popular and rich just to get fame , but putting on a mask to let the people around you have a peace of mind . People breakdown , due to too much masking . The vital point is how to control the amount of mask that you've to put on at a time , when you take it off and relax .

Everyone has an emotional side of theirs , be it females or males . But letting the emotional side take the better of you , leads to people saying hypocritical person and emotional driven . How to cut the line ? From my point of view , it's to show to those people who really care for you and really treat you as a friend that they cannot bear to part with . These are the people who will stay by your side through the hard time . Tears , are not meant for the heartbreakers to see , but meant for the person who mend that broken heart to see .

2011-06-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I've last posted . Oh well . Studying . (: I'm happy that I get to study today over at Dawn's . (: Oh , have I mention ? My nails are pretty now ! :D thanks to Dawnstws ! Pretty nails ~ she could be a manicure artist ! I'll confirm go to her shop to make my nails .

School was alright , well . I had two days of holiday school , so yeahh . Not going to step in that place till the last week of the hols when I have extra lessons again . Oh ! PayPay . I love it when I get my pay ! Although it's not in my account as of yet , but hopefully it would come soon ! (: Mphosis is having sale , but I can't go ! D; no money means no shopping for me . D;

Would be heading down to town tomorrow , should I dress up ? But I lazy lehhy . I wonder . hmmm . maybe I should , like once in a while ? (; Should start saving up money for the future . Actually , I'm not a very busy person what , don't understand why people say I busy . I everyday like nothing to do one lehhy . If it wasn't for Dawn that meets me , I think I will be nua-ing everyday at home . D; HAHAH . But I enjoy spending time with her though ! (: hehehe .

Oh , and I left my wallet at Dawn's place . clever me right ?

Hello !

2011-05-28T07:11:00.001-07:00

It has been a very long time since I've touched this space of mine , since I'm so bored at my dad's shop , here's a post for you guys ! (:

Results weren't good , I've should have expected it right ? I didn't give the effort that could exchange for good results . I have to find my motivation back . Even MsChua said that I have to find back what I was when I was in the beginning 6months of sec3 . I would love to return to those days , where my heart was still fully attached without the scars that are surfaced after the heartbreaks . I love to return to those days , where there is never an underlined score in my report book . I love to return to those days , where my name would be called to be the highest for subjects .

But now , I'm happy for the past , that I'm able to learn how to be stronger and more determined , I'm not gonna let myself be situated in a guilty position anymore . that I'm able to learn how to let go , and look forward . I'm happy for the present , where I no longer cry all night , or having any friendship problems . I'm looking forward to the future , where I see a more self-controlled Melissa . ;D

I'm happy , but I still have to put in effort . And I thank God for the people in my life ! Dawnstsw ! Thank God for you . (:

2011-05-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

Finally , I'm blogging with my laptop once again ! Not anymore emo posts but happy ones . (: Even though mid years were a disappointment , but I would work harder and strive for better results in it . (: I have to really , put in effort from now on . (:

Okay , so I'm not contemplating on whether should I work this June holidays or not . I really want to work , and the pay is really reasonable and good . But .. hmm , studies studies studies . It's a tough decision , and I have to make it soon .

Anyw , school's starting late today , that gives me the extra time to jalan jalan on my computer . :D HAHA . Masked yesterday , and it felt awesome !

Results

2011-05-19T23:22:00.001-07:00

As usual , nothing worth celebrating .

2011-05-15T09:16:00.001-07:00

I can't even watch 5mins of television to distress ? What's this man ? Face your book and study all day , any normal human being will need to have a break in between or something .

Dont come and act one veh concern about my studies to me . If you are concerned , you would let me study and set a curfew for me . If you are concerned , you would know when my exams start and end . If you are concerned , I wouldn't be needed to work even during my mid years . If you are concerned , I wouldn't be fooling around and not concentrating on my studies . You care about me ? All you care is about your face . Nothing else . What am I to you ? Just another thing to add to your trophies , just another trophy girl . I need to meet your expectations and all only . Wait . I don't even have to , cause you already have the other two , you don't even give a fuck about me .

I know that it's my fault for not studying earlier , ain't I trying already , you still over there kpkb about me not doing my chores , just because you got said . You do the chores for others , cannot do for me ? Obvious bias towards the trophy right ?

Wtf ?!

2011-05-14T05:35:00.001-07:00

Fuck you seriously . People not happy then you still come saysaysay . Nb , you ownself also got pierce , still say others . Cb , you think veh funny is it ?! Super fucked up lah . Help you cover up so many times , one time also don't want help me nehmind , still kpkb so much for fuck .

Midyears

2011-05-11T00:15:00.001-07:00

Okay , I admit that im screwing my midyears up but I'm not waking up . I'm waking up okay , just that it just takes time . Im starting to like chemistry for one , ofcourse I still hate physics . But at least there's an improvement right . I know that such an improvement cannot be considered . I still have to thank Annabella for asking me to go for tuition . If not , I think I will never be able to put down my pride and ask for tuition. What Brennan said what true , who wants to screw olevels up . Letting go my pride , its one clever thing that I did in my life , and I don't think I will ever regret it .

I'm going to learn to live like how I used to , being serious in my studies and fuck care all those heartbreakers . Who needs love when it comes to olevels ? I hope I maintain this mentality until olevels is over . (:

2011-04-29T23:30:00.001-07:00

At dawn's boyf's house now . (: Dawn's playing blackshot ! HAHAH . what's with everyone and their blackshot . LOL . Going to buy my watch later . Melissa is a happy girl ! (: My phone have songs already . thankyou @Dawnstsw (:

I think just having a few friends which are good and true to you , is better than having a lot of friends , but all of them just are wearing a mask over them . (: I'm happy with my life , and all I have to stress about is MYEs . which are happening in like , less then a week's time . Haven't been studying / mugging much . I should start like now now NOW ! LOL . I want to study , but it doesn't get in , and no one is free to study with me .. ); all of them busy with their own studying with their friends / their four walls .

不同的人，不同程式表。今天，天气晴朗。

Oral

2011-04-28T22:24:00.001-07:00

I think I've alot of practice on my speaking . 'Cher say my speaking was okay , but I tend to use alot of singlosh . Have to practice more on that . I think that is the crucial thing for me to score an A for oral . Hahah .

人山人海中，我还是遇见你。巧合还是缘分？

?

2011-04-28T10:26:00.001-07:00

水洒满地，我独自坐在窗边。影子越大，心跳加速。是福是祸？
字字皆辛苦，谁知字句里。
Sometimes I really don't get it . I was childish and immature . But why do I have to face with such ..

School

2011-04-27T21:17:00.001-07:00

School life is getting boring , but what more can I expect ? We've to study study study for our olevels which are coming soon . Haha . MrChan is teaching magnetism now , but I forgot to bring the notes . :x

Was seeing some lower sec's blog . Super childish . If you want die , just die lah , say so much , 还不是 kiasi ? Hahah . Oh well . ATNA . I think you have to like cure your face before you start talking about people . Since like , I can't even look at your Facebook without feeling like vomitting.

Right hand grip ! (:

MYE's

2011-04-26T09:26:00.001-07:00

MYE is coming in 5days time . I know that I'm not prepared for it , but yet I'm still not stressing out about it . I feel so useless at this second right now . I can't even do what I think that is the moat important thing - study .
怎么每天都想着不必要的事 ? What would make me study ?! I don't want to fail my olevels , but yet I'm trying to score a 6points without breaking a sweat . Someone really must knock some sense into me . I don't understand why would I be thinking of such retarded things at this moment .

I'm going to mug for my exams , the point is , how am I going to do that . I dont know . Die . Should I stay up an revise ? Yet I find no motivation in this house of mine . Whereby the four walls are my only companion , the four walls know me better than any one of my family members does . D;

Hello !

2011-04-25T21:50:00.001-07:00

Okay , I'm just testing this out ! (; I'm blogging using my iPhone ! (: this application is so cool . Love it . <3

2011-04-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

I'm finally 16 ! Happy sweet 16 Melissa ! :D Had a really fun time celebrating my birthday although I was sick . Slept in the sickbay for like the whole of yesterday . >.<

2011-04-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

EH ! I realized that my blog posts hasn't any pictures ! awman , I'll try find some pictures to post so I'll wouldn't bore you readers out there ! ( If there is any ) , oh well , I guess I'm just trying to make my blog more pleasing to me . 'cause if not like super plain ! );

I'm supposed to be going school anytime soon . After this post , I'm off to that school of mine ! Hope it'll be fun today ! Yesterday didn't get my iPhone4 cause the shop was close ! SINGTEL was closed for one day ! -.- well , the one at kovan was close . ); sad much , but my daddy say he's gonna buy today though . Hopefully have instock ! 32GB ! :D

2011-04-16T18:58:00.001-07:00

I want to have a chinese wedding ! It's like super meaningful cann ! (: ILURBBIT . :D Today gonna study with Supei , then go get my iPhone4 , then go work . (: packed packed packed . I can't wait for my iPhone4 ! <3

2011-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Melissa is a happy girl ! why do you guys think that she's sad ! D; that makes her sad ! HAHA . (: I've a pile of clothes to wash , I'll shall procrastinate till tomorrow then ~ :D Daddy's gonna buy for me Iphone4 ! Can't wait can't wait ! and @dawnstsw is gonna buy for me BUMPER ! HEH . :D Yeapp , so that summarizes my Iphone4 . (: Brother say test use the Iphone before jailbreaking it , cause if not , no warranty if spoil .

SYF is around the corner ~ Really hope that can get Gold . Zomg , Jiayou BeattyCo ! We can do it derhh ~ :D :D :D Gonna sing k with my huqin people ~ Can't wait ! But at the same time , like everyone sing different types of song lehhy . I think I belong to the veh veh veh old time people , whereas they are veh ' in ' people . LOL . I managed to pysco my conductor to come along by saying that I will sing 你最珍贵 with her ! HAHAHA . (:

I've got tons of homework to do , and I shall wait till tomorrow when I'm studying with Supei ! Super long never meet up with her alreadyy ! (:

TODAY ! went for CCA then went to Woodlands meet Dawn . She bought her work shoes ~ :D it was like a 环NORTH一日游 ! :D Cause we went from Woodlands to Sembawang to YiShun . (: She bought her working shoes and top . (: Whereas being such a saver , I bought NOTHING ~ Super proud of myself for not spending money like water ! Shall learn the virtue of saving , in case of rainy days ehhy ? I should really stop spending money on Blogshopping already , I see my money like flow out free one lorhh . Ximtia , but nehmind , next time got money that time then buy ! (Y)

2011-04-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

Chinese Orchestra was fun ! :D although it was abit sian at the ending , like suddenly want to sleep don't want to do anything ~ D; LOL . but still got Marisa that crazy girl to make my day feel better ! :D 差一点 !

I sang all kinds of song during Assembly . From chinese , to english to worship song ! :D ' I want to run to the altar , and catch the fire , to stand in the gap between the living and the dead . Give us a heart of compassion , for a world without vision . We will make a difference , bringing hope to our land . ' this song was stuck ! :D HAHA . See ! I still remember the song lehhy ! HAHAH . :D

I'll do anything for you . I've enough of all the relationship things already , be it BGR or friends . I just hope and pray that everything will be better this year . I don't want to screw my life up anymore since it is already so screwed as much .

I'll shall stop imagining about the perfect relationship where I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him , when my heart actually really skips a beat when I hear him call my name . I shall stop thinking that there would be a guy that would pop up of nowhere just to surprise me and send me to the place I'm going . I'll stop imaging that there is actually one guy that my friends would accept me being together with him . Wait , I'm going to able to stand firm in the relationship even though my friends don't accept that fact . :D I'll stop imaging these things ( UNTIL OLEVELS THEN I'LL START FANTAZING ABOUT THIS PERFECT GUY . ZOMG , CANT WAIT . LOL . )

2011-04-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

what's wrong with my facebook ! I can't seem to log in , it keeps telling me that it's under maintenance . For the past hour , I've been trying and trying , yet I still cannot get into the account ! D; what is this !

School today was okayy . Everything was fine ~ Had AA rehearsals today , and it turned out like crap . I guess there are many many things that we have to improve on , I've to improve on my skills as well . The teacher say that erhu sounds veh sharp and veh hard . Then if it's sharp , confirm saying about me already mahh . Then was practicing after that , but the 杂音 couldn't get away no matter how I play it . o.o but still must try my best .

Many many things on my mind . & I should be studying now , studying for geog test tomorrow . D; I'm so bored ! I've to study hardd . I'm going to work hard for my midyears and my olevels , so I'll use my cert to smack those people that looks down on me . Thinking that I couldn't study , those that thinks that they are smarter than me just because they listened in class when I was sleeping , I'll show you .

OH ! I'm back to my bangs ! LOL . I haven't took a picture of myself with my bangs yet , so enjoy the one with my bangs last year ! (:

2011-04-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

I guess , what's not meant to be , it would never mean to be . (:

2011-04-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

守得云开见月明，是真的吗？

' I should know I should know ' everything also I should know . then what are things that I shouldn't know .

2011-04-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

It sucks being the youngest , because you get bullied every single day in your life , you have no privacy no nothing . You can't even voice out your opinion . Yes , to you who is reading there , I'm talking about you . It's so ridiculous of how people keep thinking that they are always in the right , and they have done absolutely nothing that is against you . Which every one knows that it is impossible . That they can totally forget of the good deeds that you've done for them which is uncountable and only remember those once or twice time of bad deeds . They can one minute proclaim to the world of how much they would sacrifice for you , and the next time sacrifice you for themselves .

I hate being the youngest , I can only serve and not be served . I only can be bullied and not bully . Is it cause the age gap is too little , or ..

What can I do about being the youngest anyway , it's always ' you never do this / that ' ' you tell me when you got do lah ' ' you are retarded lah ' . So what that I am not as good in studies then you guys . So what if I'm in Beatty and you two in ChungChengMain . Being said of useless and retarded isn't the thing that you want your siblings to continuously say to you . How many years have I endure this already ? Who's the one stereotyping me and my friends ? How much do youguys even know about me ? The fact that you people didn't even know that I was the concert master of my school's ChineseOrchestra already proves the point . From the beginning when I played erhu , you guys didn't even like it . EVEN banning me from practicing at home . So when you know that I was the concert master , you were so shocked . How long is it that you've last heard me play ? Even piano . From young , I always hear you guys saying how talented you are in music all those , and I am just plain dumb and hardworking .

All the things that you don't want do all give me do . Don't even dare to ask for money also I go ask . Don't dare to ask sales person I also ask . Hello , how old already still don't dare go ask for price is it ?

2011-04-05T08:03:00.001-07:00

I'm sick !

2011-04-02T21:36:00.001-07:00

Met Dawn yesterday after my CCA . :D Headed to Sembawang , walkwalk here walkwalk there . 'cause she wasn't that hungry at first , so we walked like three times of Sunplaza . HAHA . Talk here talk there . (: Ate mosburger when she was feeling hungryy ~ :D

She showed me the recording of bearbear and chunleng singing ! Zomg , I'm really speechless . HAHAHA . It's like , zomg . Super nice cann ! :D yeapp . then walk here walk there again , went to Aries to see stuff , ended up buying anklet and ring ! LOL . Dawn and I have the same ones ! (: cute much ? ohoh ! there was a rather good looking skater there , but apparently the way he speaks was super irritating that it totally spoil the impression that we had on him . ); oh well , we can never find guys who are goodlooking and speaks like zomg nice right ? Can't have the best of both worlds ~ (:

went to work . & I swear that old CHINESE uncles are super irritating . -.- Zzz .

&everytime my phone vibrates ,

I was hoping that it would be you ,

but it never seem to be you .

Always text you for something retarded ,

hoping that we're able to talk like last time ,

but it seems impossible .

I told myself not to look at you already ,

but evertime you passed me by,

I wonder if I ever crossed your mind .

When our eyes meet ,

I would turn it away from you ,

my eyes shows the wanting for you .

but no ,

we are over and that's it .

I don't want to get heartbroken another time .

2011-04-01T10:04:00.001-07:00

List of events that happened to the three day 'break' - uncle's wedding , NYP , studying tips ? yeap , on separate days . I'm been spending my time at home ! These goes to show that I am a super good girl now . :D haven't been studying cause there was too many chores to be done in a day . Kudos to those that does not have to do house chores , but people like me have to do it ! & it must be veh nicely done , if not . No laptap , no money , no nothing . :D

Nothing interesting @ my uncle's wedding ( even if have , I also can't be bothered ) . Went off to see Kbox after eating the Wedding Dinner , sing till 2.30 . It was super fun as my sister keep playing those weird weird songs and dance to it . There was Genie , Telephone , TicTok & many more ! Fun ttm , :D went home , only got to sleep at fourAM , imagine my tiredness , of course I overslept , but not to the extreme , I woke up at 8am , which means that I slept for merely four hours and yet I still can wake up myself . Oh well . I'm too awesome to be true . Shall continue my post tomorrow or something , I'm going to head to my comfortable bed to sleeeeeep away . Nights .

2011-03-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

I'm home ! Such an early hour ! (: Going to keep up the good work . Need to study study study already . But of course breaks come be taken too ! (: I'll study hard and play hard . I'm never going to let myself feel so ignorant about the stuffs happening around me already , I'll be the one answering the questions .

Going out later with my sister for some grocery shopping , 'cause my house is EMPTY . going to stock out on some stuffs and I'll camp at home ! HAHAH . that would never happen to me . (: Going off soon ~

I've came to the conclusion that I shouldn't be thinking too much , 'cause it doesn't help me in anyway . I'm going to forget about everything . (: You just belong to my past , you are now just a person that I know what's your name , but I don't talk to you . (: yeapp , it's gonna take much of my courage for me to be able to do that , but I know that I will have the ability to do so , trust me on it . (:

2011-03-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

I've just got back my computer , and I'm at this space typing away already ! Such a faithful blogger right ! (: Anyway , spent these few days busy with my CO stuffs . & there's only one day of practice next week , let me think to myself how will the CO end up to be . ._. too depressing already . ;x Shall have faith with the members ! :D

Sometimes , life is so frustrating and you just feel like running out of the road and getting car banged . Yes , I've this feeling for like super long already . Zzz . Really , it's like nothing is going your way when you've already planned it well enough already , but something somehow just comes in your way and screws everything up .

And money is like flowing off at a super fast speed . Gonna start saving soon . Don't ask me to go out k people . -inserts hears- :D

2011-03-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

It's spot check today ! And I amazingly passed it . Well , not really , except my nails gotta be cut . But other than that , I'm perfect ~ :D Had spot check in the hall , was cutting my nails , then decided to go out to dispose of my cut-offed nails . And the councilors thought I was skipping spot check ! D; yes JERVIS , I'm talking about you . hahah . Chitchat-ed with Jervis , JiaoKai and Brian for a while and went back into the hall .

Got sent out of class by MsChai , cause I didn't do my homework . :x Well , I'm not alone , there are other people with me ! :D but I've learnt better when I was outside . hmm . Should I not do my work , so I'll get send out so I'll learn better ? :x okay , that's a dumb conclusion . ohwell ~ I should be doing my amaths homework now . But I'm so lazy . Procrastination is my drug . :D HAHAH .

Lessons as per normal . Met Dawn @ woodlands ~ :D just came home ~ I didn't catch the rain ! happy much ! :D

2011-03-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

It hurts twice as much when you are the one that's demoralizing me as compared to the others . It's precisely 'cause you are so close to me , that whatever you do and you say , affects me much more than others . I know I'm not the best friend that teaches you all the good stuff , I know I'm not the best friend that scores straight As and can help you in your homework . I know that I'm not as capable as you in scoring good marks for test and stuff . I know I've been slacking in class , sleeping in lessons . Okay fine . I know I'm fucking retarded to not to know what's dx/dt . I know I don't understand a shyt for RateOfChange . But I'm trying my best right .

I've really don't know who can I turn to now . I don't want to trouble people , but I'm stuck in a mess . I've created this mess , I know . I am supposed to be the one that is clearing it up . But why can't I have more time to be able to clear up this mess and have enough time for my olevels ? I'm stuck with no one to help me . When there are questions or doubts , who can I turn to ?

I've enough of being the last in my family . One by one stressing the fuck of me , saying that this is the last chance to prove that I'm smarter . What the fuck . I'm not fucking retarded okay . How 'bout this ? You have your whole life being in your family , and getting said that you are fucking retarded and is useless ? No matter how much I tried , doesn't make a difference , I'm still a retard in your eyes . Seriously . I'm just worthless since young . ugh .

2011-03-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

Went to school for CCA , as usual . I'm getting bored of this CCA already , it's like no one is really seriously listening to what we have to say . &I'm just like wtf with them already . One reflection , how long already , still got people haven't hand to me yet . Ugh .

School's reopening already . Damn , I would love to sleep in everyday . :x later still need to go work . I've not been going out to enjoy my life , but spend my time rotting away at CO and at home . What's holidays for then ? I just don't understand how some people can be so insensitive to the environment and act as though they are so high and mighty . sheesh .

RainRain , it isn't seeming to me that it is going to stop anytime soon . sian . D; This year olevels already . Really don't feel like studying siahh . :x shyt . must get out of this mode soon , if not my olevels results confirm cui ttm already .

2011-03-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

I think I slept lesser during the holidays then during the school days . :x due to studying ! super guai these few days . heh . :D but I didn't study much though . D; but studied more than what I did in these past 3months . (:

I'm going to get a polaroid soon ~ thanks to calista ! love her manymany !

2011-03-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

These girls are the people that makes my school life much more interesting that it should be ! (: My boyf is the one beside me ! NOT TERRENCETAN , but LIMHUINEE okay . (: yeapp , am really grateful to these two ! (L) Annabella , for being there when my life was really upside down , and HuiNee , for being my boyf for TWOYEARS8MONTHS boyf and have NOT brought me out for dinner ! D; not even during Valentines' Day !

Went to have dinner with my brother and sister at the JapaneseRestaurant at OrchardCentral , and it wasn't filling at all ! D; but the greentea made my sister and I full though ~ (: oh well . I have to get to study my amaths later ~ :D Melissa is getting happier each day ! (:

2011-03-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

(: I like this picture ! 'cause of the words . (: although we're not together already , but I think this phrase of yours is really really meaningful ~ I guess this is what every girl would want their boyf to say to them . Sorry that I didn't cherish you , but at least you are living happily now , which I'm glad . (:

Went to school for chemistry LSP . I still thought got what lesson , just do corrections for the chemistry SPA and everything . (: studying later with Sherrie ~ Melissa is a good girl that studies okayy . (:

Sometimes , the way you react and respond , make me wonders whether are you paying attention to what I'm saying . whether you actually spare a thought of what am I feeling . I don't get it at times really . D; oh well .

Studystudystudy . byebyeee .

2011-03-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

Today went to school , to go for the MarinaBarrage thing . Was in the same group as Annabella , HuiNee , Jerlene , Regine , JiaMin . Have I missed out anyone ? I think I did . :x sorry people ! It was fun ~ (: WE SAW A HOT ANGMOH . ZOMG . then all of us started staring at that guy . it's like supoer hot cann . :D ' zomg ! hot guy hot guy ! ' LOL . super high luhh . weall like some 花痴 cann ! & MrTerrenceTan was super funny today . about the kite flying couple ! (:

Went back to school then went to eat Macs with Annabella . I WANT MILO MCFURRY ! :D sent her back to school for her training ~ then went home change and headed down to tpyc ! meet Adalric ! I super long never see him already . So tall . tsk .

Went to sky garden to study . HAHA . He didn't study at all luhh cann . I think I was too distracting . :x keep talk crap over there . I hate the weather today . give me headache . :x went home after he had to go to tampines for some beach volleyball thing . slept all the way . OHOH ! I GOT SCREEN TODAY . -.- with adalric . I got screened with this super guaikia . I was super amazed cann . HAHAH . that Adalric , always come lie to me cann . wahlawr ehhy ! damn sad cann . RWAR . until now I still don't know which he say is true which he say is just fooling me only . HAHA .

2011-03-11T22:43:00.001-08:00

It's when times that things are already lost , then you will really cherish it . I'm happy with my life now . and I can proudly say that 2010's Melissa is gone . :D Things that have happened during 2010 , I'm sorry but I have to forget you . (: The old has gone , the new has come . I'll be stronger and happier than I ever was in 2010 . (: This took time , a long time I must say , and courage . To face whatever is coming . It's O levels , it's SYF .

In the period , I've thought a lot . I've learnt to put things behind me . I've learnt not to harp on the past , and look forward to the future . I've learnt that some friends , are just not meant to be . I've learnt a lot of stuff . (: I'm glad with my life now , and I will try my best to maintain how it is now , I'm not going to let it go astray anymore . (: Although , yes I've picked up bad habits . And I can't quit those habits , but I'll control (:

Study and SYF is at most importance right now . I must balance the time I have on hand . I don't want to see my report card having 6fails ( 4F9 , 2E8 ) This , is the worst results that I have in my entire life . I've only started seeing underscores in my report card for last year's EoY . and now , 6 . I may not be the smartest , the most hardworking , but as long as I've tried my best , I think I will accept whatever results that I have . And this certainly wouldn't be the results that appear on my olevel result slip . I'm going to rejoice when I receive my olevel slip . I am going to rejoice when I hear the results for my SYF .

Melissa , don't do things that you will regret anymore . what's past has past , don't dwell on it . I promise , to myself . that I'm going to take everything that comes towards me in a positive attitude . (:

Yesterday , talked with Annabella for very long . (: Something that she said was really very true , ' people takes times to change their opinion of you . You may think that you've changed a lot , but people may not think this way . ' I'm going to make sure that my results will show , that I am really wanting to study now . I'm not going to be the ' everyday sleep in class and don't hand in homework ' person anymore . I'm going to contribute to 4e2'11 .

2011-03-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

It used to be ours , not mine , not yours , but ours . There was a you and me , but a us . But now ? It has became he and she , his and hers .

HELLOO WORLD . I had C.O today ~ sectionals . (: MY SECTION IS AWESOME YO , actually some only . I guess I saw the light too late . How I want to make this section into a better and more bonded section , I'm only left with one month . One month to SYF , one month to step down . I may miss this section , miss my juniors , but I don't want to step down with the regret of not making this section into the most memorable section . Erhu section , has to stand on it's own and be more brave of themselves . We are united as one . This is the last straw already , all I need is your cooperation to help me to pull through this SYF , then we would no longer be looked down upon as the slack CCA or the good-for-nothing CCA .

ZOMG , I really really hope that tomorrow I can drill something into my section , that they will really really give their best in practicing during this last month before the SYF . I feel the tension rising after the rehearsal yesterday . ZOMG , am so scared about it now . MARIENNE , LET'S PRACTICE OKAYY ! (:

2011-03-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be such a nice girl and post everyday okay ! (: I have no idea why did I went to school for today , seeing the fact that I slept through maths and english lesson , then it was recess , watched some history video after recess , then chinese teacher didn't come , daydream during geography cause it wasn't MsLim teaching , and didn't pay attention to MsChua cause I was really veh tired after geography . hmm , what have I learnt today ? :s ANDAND , I slept during maths because I had a really bad tummyache . D; can't blame me for sleeping okay , if not it would hurt like some bitch .

went to dental today , the dentist said that still need two appointments then can take out ! ); sadsad me ! I thought today can take out already lorhh . Headed over to woodlands , pierced and went to AMKKK ~ LOL . to buy Dawn's camera ! HAHA . then went to find dillon already . 'cause Dawn went off with her daddy , leaving me at amk at like , sixplus . Which was too early to go home ! Yeapp .

Im going to learn from Calista ! And wake up at three in the morning to study ! my brother says that I don't have the discipline , so Im going to show him ! (:

2011-03-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hellohello ! went town shopshop with DawnSuwanieTan , AQiYin & her boyf . (: we are like , super early can ! The shops at cineleisure weren't even open ! ); qiyin went to buy movie tickets for movies after Dawn & I are going off ~ HAHA . THE WEATHER IS ZOMG HOT ! Dawn is MINP ! ( made in north pole )

While thinking of what to do , cause the pool place is not open , I saw two BRIGHT ORANGER shirt people walking pass . Guess who . -.- C.O people . LOL . I don't think they saw me , but oh well ~ HAHAH . cabbed to fareast plaza , the taxi uncle damn jialat . we saw far east plaza , the one beside the hotel , he bring us to fareast shopping center , and say that it is also beside hotel uh . ( yeah , it was ) then say we never saw clearly . ); oh well . people like that do exist , don't want to admit to their mistakes .

walked around far east . like alotalot . My leg pain now . ); went to work after that . (: ohoh , Dawn & I , on the intent of buying shoes , clothes . We've bought accessories . HAHAHA . tomorrow going to hougangmall ~

2011-03-02T00:33:00.000-08:00

I'm home at this hour ! amazing right ! (: I'm learning to be a good good girl that comes home everyday after school ! (: heh . Amaths test was rather easy . but I think I'm going to fail it anyway , cause for question one , I divided it instead of minusing it , therefore , there goes my four marks ! ); and I forgot how to do R-formula ! there goes 5 marks ! and it is upon 15 ! >.<

I'm SOO totally allergic to that herbal thing that Chantel asked me to drink . -.- my body started to itch , and there were tiny dots that appeared on my face ! ._. sheesh . allergic much , and it was supposed to be helpful for ezcema . I'm like whaaat ?

anyway . today I was attentive in class okayy ! (: happymelissamuch . although I fell asleep during Physics . cause he was sooo boring , so ohwell . He's going through the physics spa , so oh well ~( okay , I know that it isn't supposed to be an excuse , but still . ) school was pretty much enjoyable . (: played piano during recess cause we couldn't stay in class ( to sleep ) , and we didn't feel like eating . We - refers to Annabella and I . OHOH ! I did finish ALL my maths homework , well , those that I know of . (:

yeapp . that's all , should be heading to bugis later for dinner ~

2011-02-28T05:17:00.000-08:00

原来我还放不下你。I said that I was a strong girl , that I'm able to let go . But I can't . It has already been a year , kept thinking about how bad a girlf I was at that period . I'm sorry . but it is already too late . Everytime you walked past me , without saying a word , without a hi or a bye , it just . hurtful . I don't understand , it already been a year ! I still remember the text that you sent that night .

OHWELL . EARTH TO MELISSA . - snaps back into reality - I've tried to be a good girl , but santa don't want me to be ! ); everytime want study also cannot study !

Studied today with Jason , didn't know how to do an amaths question , call here call there all the answers were weird weird ones . ); finally got help ~ thanks Chantel . (: Headed over to BISHAN to eat ThaiExpress with DaddyChung ! (: niceniceee . ^^ walkwalk around , asked for the iphonefour that Im getting . And surprisingly it's only 99$ ! (: super happy . cause I have to pay for the extra $99 !

hopefully I'll get an iphonefour soon ~ (: 爱你，不是因为你的美而已。

2011-02-27T07:59:00.000-08:00

staying at home is so boringgg ! ); met dawn yesterday . Played mahjong and lost $10 ! hahaha . Im not happy that I lost money , but then again , my mahjong skills gain better ! heh . (: shall play with my familyyyy ! then can win moneyy . HAHA . I want play mahjong soon ! HAHAH . (: shall ask annabellaaa .

I'm allergic to red cabs . ); I've been puking in red cabs ! cause when I go work in cab ( I'm just lazy ) , I will only puke in the red cabs ! HAHA . tested okayy ! Saturday sat the mercs cab never puke . (: happygirl95 ! shall not sit in a red cab EVER AGAIN . hahaha . (:

How I wish I can bring my laptop everywhere I go ~ can blogshop everywhere ! HAHA . Im going to get my iphone4 soon ~ my dad has been procrastinating since god-knows how long ! and I'm going to get him to get me one asap ! I need my internet where ever I am ! (: HAHAH .

NEVER EVER , try a mask that has soybean thing inside . Unless you are supaaaaaa white . 'cause the mask makes your face whitewhite like ghost like that . ( I think it's only me ) , but anyways . It cannot be washed off ! I really hope that the effect goes off by tomorrow , if not I'll look damn weird tomorrow ! ); like got put very very thick foundation like that !

2011-02-23T05:29:00.001-08:00

- no pictures - oh well , Annabella and I forgot to take pictures , so yeahh . (: Went out with Dawnnnn these few days . (: Amanda's kid was cute ! But she don't like me ! D; sad case siolzsxzs . HAHAH . not like Im going to see Ariel anytime soon anyway . (:

Living with no motivation , is that really what I want ?

2011-02-19T17:14:00.000-08:00

I'm going hajilane later with Annabella ~ shall post pictures when Im back ! My blog looks empty . ._.

2011-02-16T05:35:00.000-08:00

School's pretty much boring . (: But I'm pretty much amazed at quite a number of stuff . Anyway . Have thought quite a lot when I was stuck outside my house for an hour plus . As the cold blew past , memories came back . Good and bad memories I guess .

As I thought of what I had been like , how's my life been , there's a surge of emptiness . Im not the Melissa that I used to be . Maybe I've matured , or maybe there are too many people leaving my life already . I can't seem to find the ever happy-go-lucky Melissa . That no matter what happens , stand on her right and never let anything break her heart or let her be upset for more than one day / 24hours .

Im not fighting against this emptiness that I'm feeling . No matter how much I pretend that everything is alright in my life , how much I tell myself that it's alright , it's useless . I still feel this emptiness within in , maybe the fault lies in me . I don't really know how to face anybody now . I try to laugh everyday , smile everyday , delude myself everyday that Im a happy girl . And it seems that everyone is believing that , except me .

I feel so contradicting now . I want someone to actually see through this mask that Im been wearing . It's tiring . It's like a burden that Im bringing it everywhere . Who can see the darkness that is enveloping me behind the cheerful side that I put up everyday . Who can see the tears behind each smile ?

2011-02-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

It's VALENTINE'S DAY today . Gave the cookies to quite some number of people . (: wrote cards for 30 people okayy ! HAHAHA . most of them were for my C.O derhh people . SUCH A NICE SENIOR RIGHT ! I know I know . (: yeahhyeah .

Today was rather fun , other than the fact that I really had a bad mood when I came back from botanical garden . Cause I was super tired , so yeahh . can't blame me okayy . My face was like ' don't come near me , or I'll tear your into pieces ' kinda thing . HAHA . Was okayy after a while though , I 发呆 for quite sometime then EARTH to melissa ~

Saw Jason on the bus . HAHA . didn't seen him for quite some time alreadyy . (:

2011-01-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

Hohoho , I've realized that I've yet to write a post that officially says that it is the start of a new year . :x Better late then never ehhy ! I shall start nownownow !

Year 2010 , has been a roller coaster ride for me . I've experience at tried the good and bad stuffs . I've worked hard and studied in the the beginning of the year , making my efforts pay out when the results came out . But I guess things changed ?

Checklist :

- been in three relationships

- have my heart broken three times

- tried sheesha

- started my daily needs

- dyed my hair

- didn't listen in class

- failed TWO subjects , and not scoring well

- pub with _______

- went home at 4am , for a lot of days

- pon school

- quarreled with my clique

- made new friends

Hmm , that's all that I can remember ? I'm glad that 2010 has passed me by , and I'm not going to look back and say that I regret . I shall live my life to the fullest ! (: Of course , I want to thank those people that actually stayed by my side when I was feeling the worse of the worse . Thankyouu . (: [ Im too lazy to continue ]

2010-12-23T08:52:00.001-08:00

I'm a really happy girl now ! For this moment ! (: HAHAHAS . It is due to three things :

1 . Alvin , a person that I didn't talk to 8765432345years , bought me something from thai ! HAHAHS . AND HE REMEMBERED ! THE COUNTDOWN . :D happy muchzsx . ( countdown is only between you and me and Dawn ( I told her . LOL ) okayy ! HAHAHA . )

2 . My bestf's boyf is confessing to me his love for my bestf ! Which is damn fucking sweet I swear . So cute lorhh , they two together ! (:

3 . HE is talking to me nowww ! Like after the whole day of not texting . I thought he forgot about me alr . HAPPY TTM .

FOR THIS MOMENT , I'M THE HAPPIEST GIRL ON EARTH .

2010-12-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

Today Dawn asked me , whether will I rather have a good family or a lot of friends ? Being the greedy person that I am , I said both . But she said choose one . I chose good family . She told me that she would rather have a good family and little friends , at least when she get home , she would be able to get warmth from family . Which I think is really true . Seeing my family like that , get home only nagnagnag . Everybody backstabbing one another . Is this a family even ? I doubt so . I would really give up anything that I have just to have a warm family . But that is not possible .

I dread even going home nowadays . Home is like a torture to me , staying away from it as long as possible , then I would be happy . I don't even have the want to go home just to sleep anymore .

2010-11-07T00:40:00.001-07:00

I don't understand human beings nowadays . Okay , let's say bitchy human beings . Now I am able to see clearly of how bitch one person can change into . Ehh wait , maybe she was that bitch from the start already , just that I was blinded to it . I really don't understand what's with bitching about me to other people fun about . I don't understand how the hell the I actually made friends with you that made my life so much miserable . At least I am fucking proud to say that I've NEVER bitched about , I've never gossip about you , I've never even spread anything about you . But you ?

I'm not the one in the wrong , yet you feel so righteous about yourself . You should try to look in the mirror and reflect upon yourself . 看镜子对你太好了，你得洒泡尿照照自己。物以类聚，人以群分，我到澄清以前的失误，与你交朋友，可说是天大的不辛。你就与你那些所谓朋友在一起吧。你想再讲我朋友的不是，请你当面对我说，别在后头偷偷摸摸地，哦，我忘了。你不可能当面对我说的，因为你高攀不起资格与我说话。

我到底那时在想什么呢？回想起来，我们四人，每次有争执的时候，好像都是因你而起。那么，算不算是你想要挑拨离间呢？看起来很像是吧。你就开导开导我吧。可能我的华文程度不是那么好。啊哟，真对不起，忘了你是普通华文的。我讲了那么多，你多多少少因该有点眉目了吧，还是，你一点也不了解？