How much fuck do you want to cause in my life ?! First you got so wasted and I had to carry you up in wee hours . Then you dropped my laptop from third floor . AND YOU DONT EVEN FEEL THE SLIGHTEST REMORSE ABOUT IT .

So what if you broke up with your girlf ? Doesn't it entitle you to worry your family ?! You don't even know how worried we were when you started having white foams coming out from your mouth , when you kept jerking your body and when your palm turned black because of the dirt , when we thought that was no blood circulating in your system . We are not the cause of that girl's betrayal , so don't make us be the ones that have to be responsible for all the shyt that you are causing .

And my laptop . Just because it is not your laptop doesn't mean that you can be so carefree when you shattered my laptop . It was your responsibility to take care of my laptop and not to ruin it . Just because you didnt pay for it , doesn't make the laptop worthless . This is the second laptop that you spoilt . And coincidentally , none of them were yours . Yours is still in perfect condition . I didn't hear your laptop flying from third floor to first floor before , I didn't hear that you FORGOT to zip your laptop bag before . So what , just because it isn't your property , you don't have to be responsible for its wellness ? I don't expect you to upkeep my laptop and make it sparkle , I just wanted my laptop to be at least the same when I lend you . AND YOU GOT ANGRY AT ME ?! that's the last straw man , it's your fault and you get angry with me ?! Eh , you got balls one anot huh . Only know how to show your temper . I'm not born to let you scold one horhh . Nbcb , have you ever been once responsible to anything ?! I don't give a fuck whether it was an accident or not . I HAD TO ASK YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LAPTOP WHEN YOU DESTROYED IT , AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY TO EXPLAIN TO ME . AND YOU DONT EVEN FEEL THAT YOU ARE AT FAULT . EVEN A SORRY ALSO DONT HAVE . WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAINS ?! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A WASTREL AND DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OUR FAMILY , DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SO WASTED .

AND FOR THE FUCKING FACT THAT YOU ARE THE MALE ONE , SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE MORE AS A FAILURE THAN ANYONE . GET WASTED FOR ALL I CARE , YOU ONLY KNOW HOW TO WORRY THOSE THAT CARES FOR YOU , AND ALWAYS RETURN GRATITUDE WITH EVIL .

I don't understand , why does some parents always feel that they are in the right and expect their kids to be at their mercy ? Even if their way of doing things isn't viable , they would rather make their kid to give in to satisfy their hunger to be in charge . I just don't get it .

Really , you should stop trying to ask me all those questions any more , want to act as though you care ? There's no point already . If you've the heart , I would have told you everything and not shut myself away from you . The more you ask , the more repulsive I feel . You just don't understand me , don't act like you do . I'm only trying to give you the basic respect for every human being , don't make me not give it to you . It's not that I don't want to go into NP , I know their business is better than TP , but I can't go in right . Is it my fault that I can't go in now ? I'm the one choosing the school , I'm the one going about understanding which is good at what . I know it already , I don't need you to come tell me that NgeeAnn is better at business okay . I can't go in means I can't go in already , what for do you want me to appeal for ? I thought of appealing into IB , but seriously . 6points ? I doubt so , and with your tone , I'm not going to appeal . even if I have the slightest chance that I can go in , I am NOT going in okay .

Feel so insecure about my future now , what do I actually see myself becoming to ? I don't want to grow up and be stuck with monetary issues . I want my kids to grow up happily and have a childhood . I'm at the point whereby I can't see myself in the future , not knowing whether I am walking the right path or not . I am stubborn , no matter even if I know that what a particular person is speaking the truth of reality , I still wouldn't accept it . And then I'll be stuck at this dilemma again . Life ; is so unpredictable . Life ; is so weird . Sometimes people know where they have to improve in , but stuck within their comfort zone , they wouldn't want to step out and make change . I disdain changes . But at certain point of time , I need to change . I have to change . But .

You , ( if you aint following my mindset , I think you would be confused with the you(s) everywhere . HAHAH . ) asked me to be myself and do what I feel like doing . Who am I ? Which self are you referring to ? When people are too used putting on a mask , they tend to forget which one is really themselves . What do I feel like doing ? What is my hobby ? I don't know . The world is advancing so fast that people rarely have time for themselves , every minute every second is precious , competing with the future . I feel like having something to do , I don't want to waste my time on Earth . By the time I leave this planet , I want to make a significant difference to the people . I don't want to see starvation going on . I want to see historical sights . I want to experience every single tribal group on Earth . But I don't have the energy , time and money to do so . Life , is short .

^^

I know you are reading my blog ! ^^ duhh , if not you can't see that line alr right ? <: anyway I'm blogging from my phone , in which I hadn't did so in gazillion years . Actually , not that long luhh .

Life ; they always give you surprises . No matter how you plan your schedule or your path , somewhere somehow , someone somewhat would get into your way , and disrupts your whole life . Yes , I know what you are thinking . Is it a good thing or a bad thing ? Answer , it all depends on your perspective towards things . It maybe some obstacle to strengthen you up to face the future ? But humans , imperfect as we are , usually jump into the conclusion that it is a bad thing . There are instances of like a bad relationship and others . but think through , if it werent for all this , would your character be like that ? Every story has a moral to tell , it depends how you see it . Life ; is interesting . You have to trial and error to find your rightful path , your rightful partner . And in your lifespan , have you looked back and think , ponder , whether is it worthwhile ? I don't think mine is YET , cause I really want to help those in need but have yet to have a chance to . I want to experience the different cultures and understand .

Time is passing oh so slowly everyday . maybe it's because I'm not working now . Oh well , now that I can't even use my phone , I can't even meet people often . And I have to be on time every single time I said a time to meet . Damn . I think I'm going bonkers if I continue to stay at home like that every single day . I seriously don't get it how my sister can get through each day like that , and totally don't have the urge to go out and breathe in fresh air . Like , other than your computer , what else is there in this house that you can do ? o.o

Olevel results released . Proud to say that I'm not pleased with my results . I felt so injustice , what for studying so hard , when it doesn't pay off at all ? But I understand that life is unjust , there's no perfect reasoning for everything that happened . Not everything can be explained using scientific terms . Mere mortals like us , just have to take it as it comes . Whether or not we do well , doesn't make a difference in the heavenly realms .

Confused with my decisions . Poly or JC ? I feel happy for people who actually know what they want to do in life , and exactly where they wanna head to . People like me ? I don't know , I don't know what is the path that I should choose . Decisions are things that I hate doing . But I need to learn to be in charge of my life , I need to know what should I do and what I shouldn't be doing . Adult's life , isn't as simple as I thought it would be when I was younger . I used to dream to faster grow up , to earn my own money , buy my own house . But now as I'm growing up , I realized that it isn't as simple as I thought it would be . With so many laws and everything to handle , not everything comes as you want it to be .

I've thought of moving over to other countries , to experience what they are like . But fear is a factor preventing me . I admire those people who can just go overseas to study like it's no big deal . Even given the chance , I may not want to do that . It just scares me . I don't like being unfamiliar with places , the night would seem even more darker and eerier than it usually is . I wonder when would I learn the beauty of courage . I don't have it now , and I doubt that I will have it in the near future either .

Follow your heart and make the decision . But fear is always the obstacle that is stopping me .

NewYear , New post ? HAHAH . Bullshyt man . Decided to blog cause there is nothing else to do besides blogging . I feel satisfied with my life now . Even though the release of Olevels is just a fewdays later . I know that there will be someone that will hold me even if I shatter after taking my results .

I don't think I have mentioned , but I was working at Raffles'City Timberland . That place , taught me a lot . A lot of things that got to do with Retail , even though I don't want to work retail next time , but they taught me how to deal with customers and they are really a bunch of friendly people ! Most of them actually . The full-timers are those that I can get along better as compared to the part-timers . ^^ Don't , don't take anyone for granted . I used to get irritated with retail staffs for giving me wrong item , but now I understand that each job has their difficulties and all . Especially the servicing line . They have to work and serve you guys , when you are all free and all . What's wrong with waiting for that few mins or so ? We don't do magic , can't expect us to be there like straight away after you tell us that the size isn't right .

My Christmas count-down was spent eating steamboat ! Christmas was spent working and family gathering at my cousin's house . Didn't want to go at first , but my brother bringing his girlf , so have to give face to my brother and go . New Year's eve was spent at Kbox .

These days working , made me think a lot . I realized that somethings , don't bottle it up to yourself . I'm not going to continue writing this anymore , because I'm tired and I need to sleep !

I've finally understand what is it like to be stressed up . This week would be the worst week of the olevels with all my core subjects taking place . The kind of tension and stress level that I'm experiencing is so great that I can't sleep . Even at this hour , 2.19AM , I still cannot get myself to fall asleep . No matter how much I toss and turn , I just can't seem to fall asleep . 难以入眠，满脑都是在想着数学，化学，物理，地理的问题。我是多么怕没把要点记清楚，反而背那些有的没的。这种感觉很痛苦，明明知道自己得早睡才会有精神，可是却逼不了自己入梦。感觉好象在消耗宝贵的时光。我用睡觉的时间，能学习更多的资料。

I always think to myself that I could use the time to memorize more of the coastal protections , the hard engineering methods and the soft engineering methods . The river protection , river re-alignment , re-sectioning . Floods causes lost of lives , lost of property , contaminate the water causing water-borne diseases . The severity of an earthquake is due to the magnitude of the earthquake , the distance from the epi-center , infrastructure , population density . The ways to lessen the severity is to improve the infrastructure ( building quake-resistant buildings or adding steel pipe into existing buildings ) , using sensitive technology like the seismometer , precaution drills ( education ) . Volcano have the composite volcano with acid lava , steep top and gentle bottom , ash and cinder , shield volcano . UGH . I can't remember . There's still natural vegetation . Case Study on Kalimantan deforestation . It is due to the excess logging , mining , increase in agriculture landuse , increase the population density . The measures taken are afforestation and deforestation , and so on so forth . Need to read up already . Then there is still the meanders and the formation of a water fall with the plunge pool and everything . Then there is still the oceanic-oceanic divergent plate movement , covergent plate movement . Mid-alantic ridge and everything . Gosh , all this information are really killing me . And I haven't touch on human geography yet .

F=ma ( Newton's second law of motion ) , W=mg , KE = 0.5mv(square) , GPE = mgh , pressure = (roe)gh = force/area . For left hand rule , it measures the induced force . For right hand rule , it measures the induced current ( in which need to fulfill the requirement of having a change in magnetic field and magnetic flux linkage ) . Higher heat capacity requires more energy in order to raise the substance by 1degree . Higher latent heat requires longer time in order to change state ( graph ) . When acceleration = 0 , it may not mean that the person is stationary . As acceleration is the rate of change of velocity , the person may be moving at a constant speed in circles and thus acceleration = 0 . P = IV , Q = IVt , V = IR . In parallel , voltage remains the same , current splits . In series , current remains the same , voltage splits . The Earth wire is connected to the metal wire to prevent the user from getting electric shock from the appliance , whereas the fuse is to protect the appliance from receiving excess current that would cause it to explode . Brownian motion is about the constant bombardment of the air molecules with the smoke particles . Temperature refers to the hotness/coldness of an object . Lost in GPE = gain in KE + gain in sound energy + gain in heat energy . The higher the region is above the sea level , the lower the pressure , the lower the region below the sea level , the higher the pressure . When calculating the water pressure , no need to add the atmospheric pressure . P1V1 = P2V2 . Density of mercury = 13600kg/m(cube) . Audible frequency = 20Hz - 20 000Hz . Speed of sound is 330m/s . speed of light is 1x10^8 ? AIYAH . GIVE UP LAH .

Then there's still chemistry . Gosh . I can't bring myself to go further and further already .